well, i ain't gonna send you
no flowers anymore
i ain't gonna send you
no flowers anymore
you can stick me with your needle
you can throw me
through the door
but i ain't gonna send you
no flowers anymore
i had me a girl who
one night chased me out
she threw me through the door
told me to get out
i was walking down the stairs
i broke her sleep
she jumped me like a doberman
without it's meat
it was then and there i realized
i wasn't my girl
i was old lady hatchet
she was starting to get dirty
well she strapped me to a chair
began to explain
about her sister named margaret
who had to change her name
to mary lou matilda
but she did not know why
until later when she told me
that her sister was a guy
she painted me with make-up
slapped me with a wig
she said 'boy you look good just
like my sister did!'
she was feeding me with flowers
i won't forget the tea
she dnced about my chair
she did it carefully
cause she dreamed of doing
butterflies upon the stage
meeting old barishnykov
maybe get engaged
me i don't figure i would
if i was himself
but if they do i'll be the last
to catch the garter belt
so there i sat
just like a picture in a book
strapped in my chair
just like a worm on hook
i figure i'd be there at least a spell
so i told her she was crazy
and she took it pretty well
she jabbed me with her fist
and she tickled my nose
then my god
she started taking off her clothes
it was then that i lost touch
i was knocked out cold
after that i don't know nothing
i don't care to even know
cause the next day i awoke
in a snow bank i'd lie
i shook my head, i felt a sigh
i wrote her a poem
about a lunitic i knew
but she stole my pen
and i came runnin' home to you.
the moral of this story
i haven't a clue
but if you see her
don't tell her she's crazy
whatever you do
1996 douglas september / Big Pond Publishing and Production Limited (SOCAN/BMI)
This work by Douglas September is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 2.5 Canada License
